and more ships.
I talk to him,
I get shipped.
It doesn't matter who,
I talk, I get shipped.
It's been one year or so,
It's happened 5 times.
We're just friends.
All of us.
New RelationshipsI turned into one of those people,
Who get's angry when you don't text back.
At the mere sight of you,
My stomach would not stop fluttering.
Whenever you asked to go out,
I would wish I clear everything to do so.
Upon our first kiss,
It was a memory never to be forgotten.
You were always the first one,
To receive updates on my life.
It seems like true love,
The way we care for each other.
We truly do love each other,
But we're still young.
Too afraid to tellWe had dreams.
We had ambitions.
We had things we wanted to do,
And things we wanted to accomplish.
But those dreams vanished,
And those ambitions faded.
I don't want to do anything,
And I have nothing to accomplish.
It's eating me alive,
The constant despair.
I'm too afraid to ask,
Too afraid to tell.
It's better this way,
For no one to know.
Focus PoemAre you or are you not?
Well it doesn’t matter.
You look, therefore you are.
I see what I believe,
And I believe what I see.
You look like a Jew,
So you must be one.
I do not care much,
Other than for your death.
You’ve plagued our nation,
And you deserve to pay.
But how can I do that,
If I look like a Jew?
Inner ThoughtsIt almost seems unreasonable for us to be together.
Yet it has been cheered on for a couple years now.
We are close but it seems forced and has become a habit for us both.
We talk but we don’t talk enough to each other.
So if we were to go together, it seems unpredictable as to what would happen.
His personality is different than mine, but we share common traits.
He will be gone soon, yet I am shy to ask for contact info.
What shall become of us when he leaves?
None of this would have happened should they not have suggested.
The InternetSlowly, it's eating my brain,
As if I'm addicted.
I am addicted.
Every day, every night.
I can't help it,
I am slowly deteriorating.
Mentally and Physically.
It's a love hate relationship.
I love it,
But it seems to hate me.
It keeps calling out to me.
What is it?
Persepolis PoemShe’s seen so much,
In those long years.
All those protests and such,
Sometimes filled with tears.
She was so young at the time,
She didn’t always understand.
She had not reached her prime,
Once, a school made her banned.
But now she has grown,
Studying outside Iran.
She was on her own,
Until away she ran.
Having returned home,
Things have changed.
People could roam,
And she was estranged.
Away she left again,
This time to France.
Her family in pain,
But for her, a new chance.
Who am I?I am not who I say I am.
I do belong in your group.
And I do belong in that group.
But I am more than that.
I am all of these groups.
I am not just that group.
Or just this up.
I am all of the groups.
But can I do that?
You didn’t know.
And the other won’t let me.
Do I have to be so confined that I can’t be in any group but yours?
I like being in your group and I like being in others.
But I can’t choose which.
So then who am I?
One YearThat name
Lingers at the back of my mind
A year has passed
Ever so fast
Yet i'm still sad
I feel too bad
I need to stop
And move on
So why cant i?
First Girl too
I'm so confused
Am i this am i that
I've told people now
I cant go back
I'm hoping that special person
Will walk into my life
And stay this time
Because i want someone to hold me into the night..
Lost in spaceCries in an unending universe fall on unhearing ears,
no one listening to invisible tears.
A blanket of stars go drifting by
cold diamonds in a black immortal sky.
Into the vast dark and lonely void tossed,
dreams abandoned, forgotten, lost.
An eternity passes in the wink of an eye,
hopes and desires first suffocate, then die.
For how can they live in this desolate place,
no near and no warmth isolated in space.
There is no right way up now just floating around,
no unwavering force that holds to the ground
and time passes slowly in this new world so strange,
compelled to accept what can no longer be changed.
Written by Suzanne Karbach
1st June 2015
nervous ticki. i curse you some nights, kicking the soil around your grave and daring you
double fucking daring you to be alive somehow
ii. i heard you at my grave. my god your face has lengthened, your jaw was so slack and wide and i nearly lost it
lost it like you clearly already have.
i want to tell you i do. i'm alive, in most ways at least
iii. your mail still rattles my door of a morning hiding in with mine like it can sneak past me
past my dulled senses and weakened barrier.
everything is numb.
vi. a shadow. thats all that i am now, friend.
i have tried dialing numbers or scrawling words but they don't come.
imagine that, me, out of words.
i am not myself anymore
v. solitude will be the death of me.
i'd swear to god, but you've ruined that too
you logical bastard.
fall(ing apart)Brass keys and candlewax,
You're my dilapidated aesthetic.
Flower crown in auburn curls
Amber eyes with autumn swirls
Pumpkin spice and "You're too nice!"
Indie music ambience
We say broken is beautiful,
But honey, no it's not.
There is nothing beautiful about
locks without keys,
Burning your finger on a flame,
Nor the wilted ring of flowers on your grave.
Autumn still tastes like you,
but it tastes like sadness, too.
Soft soul music is too painful;
Broken may not be beautiful,
But beauty has been broken.
Floodgate EyesPlease promise me something better,
even if it is a lie-- sometimes believing
is enough. (sometimes knowing is too
much. tomorrow I will wake up
and travel a little farther down the road
to my own self-destruction. You are
I won't look back, I'm already wrapped up
in my fears of the moment. An intricate
web of justifications and anxiety is
tethering me to these uncertain feelings.
Would you finally cut me free
if I caved into you? Because
I think I'm getting close.
And I think I read the world all wrong,
but I can still play along.
because selling yourself short never did
anyone harm, and besides, I'm already
pretty cheap. I think tears used to be
worth something-- I forget.
(Sometimes a pit forms in my stomach
just to prove I've done something wrong.
It spreads like cancer, morphing me into
These moments have never meant less.)
I promised myself I wouldn't die until
I was strong enough to leave something behind.
Until then, I'll just reinforce my
HumanWho are you?
Or who do you want to be?
I always thought this doesn't matter
I always thought I knew the answer
But society proved me wrong
Are you a cat?
Or are you not sure?
Will you get mad at me
If I say you're a bird flying over the sea
But I'm afraid to say something wrong
So tell me who are you?
Does this really matter to you
It doesn't matter to me
As long as you are a human being
you lurk behind my sternum and
lace my uneasy breaths with
doubt and self-deprecation, I
can't breathe. I
guess I didn't need to sleep.
I am smudged in between the lies,
an asymmetric astrology chart
mapping misguided dreams
when you make a wish on me,
I sell away another piece
(I wish I were my own)
it was always me, it was always
the blood clotting in my heart
and words coagulating on my
tongue – I swallow cyanide to
vomit up my narcissistic tendencies
it was nothing that ever mattered
when the dust settled and you
could finally remember my name
(and you settled down into my bones
deciding I was hollow enough for a stay)
I will never leave
but I warned you my poetic dedications
were never pretty
God Told me a Secret (Gay Rights Poem)God told me a secret last night before bed,
He leaned into my ear and silently said:
"I love you my child, I really do.
"I hate none of my children, it really is true;
"But I am real angry, not with the gay, bi or straight,
"I am angered with those who only spread hate...
"This world I created is now such a sad place...
"It has been ruined by the human race.
"Why should it matter who my children date?
"It is their life so you shouldn't spread hate!
"And then when you say, 'I hate because of religion!'
"You need to open your eyes and see that hate's YOUR decision!
"You can choose between peace or spreading this hate!
"You can choose to love the gay, bi and straight!
"But as soon as you choose to hold some dumb useless grudge,
"Know that it's you who I will judge!
"All my children from all around the globe,
"Stop being such a homophobe!
"All my other creatures can get along great!
"Why is it just humans who choose to spread hate?
"I am so angry, so filled up with rage!
"My children must
an atheist's guide to grieving youi. let your soliloquies be private,
a prayer to trees and trees alone--
tuck it away:
that song by the kills,
muffled sex under blankets,
apologies through gritted teeth
ii. when the news arrives,
remember this was not special.
a hundred other girls spoke
into his mouth,
felt the blue valley
of his collarbone
but say nothing
as they stumble over his pronoun
& still pinch tiny rainbow pins at his funeral.
iv. flinch every time you see an ongoing truck
v. remember him at all the wrong times:
drunk with friends,
vii. put that record on